So you are champing at the bit, it’s been a few months since you’ve seen any action and your partner has just got out of the hospital after giving birth. Surely 48 hours is long enough for her to get over it………….yeah right, lets face it, she has just had the equivalent of a watermelon pass through her groin, so you can understand why she may not be interested.

But seriously, you will be looking at least a couple of weeks as, if like the majority of other women, your wife / partner has torn or has been cut during the delivery, this is the time it will take for the wound to heal. Even after this she may still be sore and tender, so you should approach sex cautiously and try to avoid full penetrative intercourse to start with.

If your wife is breastfeeding, try to avoid any pressure or manipulation of her breasts or nipples, unless you are in to BITTY. Also note that due to the release of oxytocin during orgasm, breast milk may actually spray from her nipples, quite interesting, but you may get caught by surprise if you are not expecting it.

If you are lucky enough to engage in sex shortly after the birth, your partner may actually go into after-contractions following orgasm, this should not be a cause for concern and is perfectly normal.

It may be that your partner actually finds intercourse severely painful which could be caused by stitches being inserted too tightly and the surrounding flesh is perhaps infected.  If you suspect this is the case, get your partner to see a doctor or midwife as soon as possible.

Note that there is a common misconception that women cannot get pregnant whilst they are breastfeeding. This is not the case, so ensure you still use contraception whilst they are breastfeeding,

The reality is, however, that it is probably going to be several months before you get a look in and when you do, don’t think that it is going to go back to exactly the way it was before. It may take your partner a while to gain her confidence and to feel sexy again. You may also feel differently towards your partner, as she is now the mother of your child and, if you witnessed the birth you may also be feeling a bit squeamish about sex. (The birth scene in Alien is a good comparison!)

You also now have another small person in the family who will be demanding your partner’s attention and keeping the both of you awake at night, so sex maybe the last thing on either of your minds when you go to bed.

Take things slowly, you will get back into the swing of things eventually, but it may be a couple of years before you are back to the way it was. Try not feel that you are being ignored or pushed away, things have changed in both of your lives and having a baby will definitely change the dynamics of your relationship.