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If you weren’t sure if becoming a dad was real then this will provide the reality check required. You are going to be a dad so now is a good time to swat up. Despite the serious subject it is also possible to have a lot of fun with other guys that are exactly in the same position as you!
It is the generally held view here that attending either the NHS or the NCT (National Child Birth Trust) www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com classes was one of the best things that a new dad can do to get an idea of what is to come. (There are a whole host of other classes available from other organisations but these are the main two).
Naturally the main focus of the classes is on the mum-to-be, but some of the information that you learn will be invaluable, not only to you personally in your preparation towards becoming a new dad, but also in your support for your other half. Everybody knows about the NHS, although it does not seem to be widely known, at least amongst the men that the NHS run antenatal classes which fathers can attend. Perhaps even less well known, for new dads, is that the NCT runs antenatal classes. You have to pay a nominal fee these classes, but they are geared up for couples, so Dads are positively encouraged to attend. Encouragement may take different forms from your
spouse. In our experience it ranges from, "it would be really nice if we could do this as a couple" to “you got me in this mess, so you better bloody be there".
At these classes you will be given an overview of many of the things that you can expect in the final phase of the pregnancy, the labour, the birth itself and dealing with your newborn. Of particular interest to many dads is the labour and birth itself, where your support is more crucial than ever for your partner. However do not disregard dealing with your newborn, as this is invaluable when you are faced with changing your first nappy
and helping feed the baby.
What was very clear when we went to our first class was that, almost without exception, all of the guys felt exactly the same way. You feel slightly out of place and it has to be said slightly embarrassed because attending a class the subject of which is about babies is not the most macho thing you will have done in
your life, especially as there are other guys in the room! You may also feel daunted and we think if we are being honest, you start to question your own ability and suitability of becoming a dad. You secretly compare yourself to the other men in the room and can find all of their strong attributes and clear indicators as to why they will be a good dad. After all, that’s all we want to be
and indeed that is your main reason for agreeing to attend the class, as well as of course, to support your partner so she doesn’t lock you out the house for good!
You will soon realise that all of the men in the room are thinking the same thoughts, have the same worries, and are relieved, when you actually start talking to each other and find that you are all in exactly the same boat. With hindsight we say “get over it”, but rest assured most guys feel the same way. However, they may not tell you straight away as that isn’t macho either!
You will get your first wake up call to many subjects you had not previously discussed, or if you had, you had done so in private. All subjects are discussed openly and often in a very “it’s perfectly natural” frank kind of way. It sounds very daunting reading this here but when you are asked at 1.30am what pain relief your partner wants in labour, or that that she may tear down below while giving birth, or you are asked to help your wife breastfeeding ("what the hell can I do", we hear you cry) having spoken about these things openly and genuinely will enable you to tackle them with confidence.
From our discussions with guys from a local NCT class they have given us feedback on the issues that they found the most useful. These range from a mock up of how many staff you may expect to find in an operating theatre if your partner requires a C-section (9, if memory serves us correctly). It proved invaluable for the dad
whose wife had an emergency C section. Whilst daunting, he was not fazed by seeing all those people in scrubs and masks when he walked in. We can’t print here what he said about what his view would have been had he not known about this before, but suffice to say scared witless pretty well sums it up.
Other guys thought the explanation about the different pain relief and it effects on both mum and baby helped them make an informed choice. Of course, the description about the different types and colour of poo in the first few days and examples in nappies was always going to be a winner!
We have set out below some links to the NHS and the NCT:
NHS Direct
National Childbirth Trust
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